I messed up. Now what?
· Source: Breines & Chen, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 2012
When you get something wrong, the first instinct is often to be hard on yourself. It feels responsible, like proof that you care. In 2012, two psychologists tested whether that's really what helps. People thought back to something they had recently done wrong. Some were asked to treat themselves with kindness about it. Others were asked to boost their self-esteem. The kind group felt more motivated to make amends, and more motivated not to do it again. Being gentle with themselves didn't let them off the hook. It went with wanting to put things right. In another experiment, people who failed a test and were kind to themselves studied longer for the next one. So tonight, tell it the way you'd tell a friend's mistake. Then name one thing you can do to fix it.